Jack Straw knows how to show a girl a good time. When Condoleezza Rice invited him to her home town of Birmingham, Alabama, she showed him the sights of the civil rights struggle, gave him a traditional dinner with her family, and took him to an American football game. What did Jack give her in return? – a wet weekend in Blackburn. Not that the dazzle dampened the Foreign Secretary's ardor as he led his US counterpart round an industrial estate in the Ribble valley and other thrilling sights of the Northwest, he looked like a love-struck school boy.
The visit wasn't a logistical success. "We wish she hadn't been invited here," said a student at the Liverpool Institute for Performing Arts. "Why should we be seen to condone the actions of this woman?"
"When I found out she was coming here to speak to our children, I didn't want her to preach what she did in Iraq," said Rabiya Adam, protesting outside the Pleckgate High School in Blackburn.
A local mosque withdrew its invitation for her to visit. She was booed and heckled wherever she went.
Across northwest England, officials had trouble scraping up people willing to populate events in her honour.
The [Liverpool] Philharmonic Hall scoured its C-list of possible compares for a gala evening in her honour, following refusals by the poet Roger McGough and the actress Cathy Tyson."
She received an honorary soccer jersey in an empty Blackburn Rovers stadium.
Hundreds of protesters stood outside the Blackburn town hall, jeering and chanting, as Rice and Straw arrived to meet with local Muslim leaders.
Rice declared her visit an unmitigated success.
She told a news conference in Blackburn that she'd been "very warmly welcomed" and didn't have a problem with the crowds of angry protesters howling with outrage at her every movement.
"If it is not possible for me to go somewhere and to be willing to encounter people with different views then I'm really not doing my job," she said.
On their subsequent fleeting visit to Baghdad, they urged Iraqis to speed up negotiations on a new government.
"The Iraqi people are losing patience," the US secretary of state. “'What is more, your international allies want to see this done."
The statement was followed up be a call for a strong leader to unite Iraq. This was absurd, given that the war has entered a bloodier phase; everything has become sectarian and ethnic with around 900 Iraqi civilians killed violently in March: There is no longer an Iraqi state to be led.
Three years after the original invasion, supporters of the war should assess the situation with pitiless clarity. Three years is more than enough time to have trained a new generation of police recruits and native soldiers. The continuing insurgency can no longer be regarded as a mopping-up exercise, or a prolongation of the military campaign. The question we need to ask ourselves is whether our troops are containing a civil conflict that would be occurring anyway, or whether they are in fact exacerbating the unrest by their presence. A bit of both, is the honest answer; but, with each day that passes, the truth tilts towards the latter.
She admitted that the U.S. had made "thousands of mistakes" in Iraq, but then later recanted.
"I meant it figuratively, not literally. I was not sitting around counting," she told a news conference.
Rice and Straw are desperately out of touch with the Iraqi reality and how the UK feels about it.